yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
