dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
