I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
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