Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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