it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Dignity is for republicans.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
