Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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