We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
