forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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