He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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