why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
