he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
