one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
