we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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