we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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