I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
