Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Even my vagina gasped.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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