everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
