i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
