There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
