Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I think my moral compass just broke
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