Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
