Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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