Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
