So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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