worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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