i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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