I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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