He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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