wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
