So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
