shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
