drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
