margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
