I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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