We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he thought i was a dude.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
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