Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
