At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
