Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
