explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
