I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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