look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
