i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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