My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
