your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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