No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
