You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
