Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
