he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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