I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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