maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
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