Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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