My hand turned me down
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
We need to get me chipped asap
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
