I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
This house was built for laser tag.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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