Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
