im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
